#4 . I love you , and will only allow you to deliver the final blow. The deepest scar of em' all. Wednesday, June 8, 2011 / 4:00 AM
HISASHIBURI .
I wonder if I have gotten the spelling correctly? ;D But I'm sure you will be able to pronounce it correctly ;D
Anyway , I just realised today that I'm a lil' too dependent on Brian? Eg , just now when me & someone fighting . Kay , not really fight but is like " tio taiji " lah . Then that guy was like want play ffa or someth , then before that is want fight so like , what I felt at that point of time was " come . who scared who? " and Brian was the first thing that popped out of my mind . Then my aiai say its not okay to depend too much on him & must he love me more than I love him. Not like idk right? But these are what you call " love games " . I sick & tired of playing games with him already. Play games with him till I go around cheating on him & flirting? Like some sluts? Nah , not gonna happen again. Not another chance. Besides , I have hurt him way too much <: so much that I no longer deserve the right to hurt him anymore & I really really want him to hurt me . But I know , he will never hurt me . Seriously , this kind of boyfriend go where find?
Am I lucky or what . Oh and I have my instincts & awesome judgments to thanks (:
But , whats the use if my heart likes to go astray? So I'm like , slapping it everyday , every second . I would love to torture myself whenever the thought of wanting to cheat runs across my mind but yeah . I'm unable to physically abuse myself so too bad. It's all going to be mental abuse . I must tame myself to become obedient already or I really really don't deserve to be loved by good guys like him. Only deserve those useless flings , which I thought was fun. And interesting. God , I want to go back and slap myself ><
Anyway , I realise all of my blog post is all about Brian!?
Like that so annoying , who still want read sia. But , I either go out of my brain will be full of thoughts of him.
I seriously wonder if Brian is exhausted anot. Cause his been running around in my brain for hours already.
Gahh . I LOVE HIM <3
ANYWAY , BEAR WITH ME LAH. TILL I GO OUT ;D
kays ,
This post is written by : Annabelle
I love you Brian.